7 Things I Want To Change About Myself

fix myself


Life ain't a bed of roses and I think if we want to be able to survive the adversity, we have to make a few change inside us. I believe it will help to lead to a much happier life when we fix our weaknesses. Some of them are too strong that it ruins our life and we supposed to get rid of all the negative vibes to make a clear path of where are we heading. I have figured out few things inside me that I need to change and I hope I could destroy them first before they destroying me and my mind. 

1. Stop Complaining And Be Grateful

I gotta admit that I tend to complain very much about everything around me rather than expressing my gratitude. I get upset when the foods are not tasty. I go crazy when the weather is scorching hot or when it rains. I wish for a bigger house that I could own a spacious bedroom for me alone cause I don't like sharing it with my sisters. I always want more and more that I forgot to be thankful. It finally hits me hard when I see people who're suffering from poverty, realising that they own nothing but a broken shelter, worn shirts and an empty stomach. When I am about to complain something, I shall remind myself that there are people who are less fortunate than me that don't even get a chance to have what I have in my palms.

2. Be Resilient And Bulletproof

I'm pretty sure you are aware of us living surrounded by judgmental society. You will be judged for what you wear, what you do for life, what you eat, what you looks like and everything.  And at the same time, you will be made fun for being yourself. It's funny, isn't it? No matter what we do, being ourselves or faking ourselves, we still gonna be judged by those people who think they are already perfect. I admit that I don't have a perfect figure and some people always body shaming me. I wear basic style tudung bawal almost every day and yeah, I've been labelled as an outdated person. I wonder what is wrong with that and is it a crime for having extra fats in our body and not wearing and up-to-date outfits? Honestly, it hurts to be humiliated. I know the best way is to ignore and I always try my best to not getting involve with those low-minded people. But I can't help myself and you know, words are the most powerful weapon than a knife and it will stab straight to your heart. Hence, I think its time to upgrade my shield and be bulletproof so their harsh words won't affect me anymore. It's a way to happier life, I suppose! 

3. Be Optimist and More Calm

I tend to expect things will be worst when I will probably be okay. I think too much about what's gonna happen next rather than taking the challenges. I spend lots of time imagining something could go wrong if I did this or that. I am a so-called defensive pessimist. To be short, I worried too much about something and it's all negative. I'm afraid I will fall down if I step on an escalator that goes downwards. I'm afraid to enter the elevator thinking that the door will squeeze me. I'm afraid to start a conversation or asking something to strangers thinking that they will ignore or getting upset of me. I'm not that coward but I was born this way and I know I need to change it. Trust me, it happens anytime, anywhere and under any circumstances no matter what. I have anxiety and that's it. It kills me and I have to fight and overcome that in order for me to do things without having any worry, doubt and fear, and just do it. Keep calm, they said! 

4. Stop Using Profanity

Cursing is not a ladylike! Well, don't get me wrong. I am not someone with a bad mouth who swear a lot. I will only curse when I lost my temper but as long as I still have the patience, I won't curse. And I'm not a hot tempered person, of course. It just when I feel agitated for not being able doing something I want to do. I will end up sobbing and cursing and have a mental breakdown lol. I sit quietly and ignore people when I am mad or pissed off, so there's no way I will be rude in front of others. And even if I don't do it in front of people, I still need to stop using profanity cause I feel like I'm being rude to myself and it's seriously a bad, bad habit! Fingers crossed!

5. Be Confident

Who else is having a low self-esteem? I used to be so shy, very shy that it's  hard for me to talk to people even saying one word. But ever since I work at my parents' restaurant, I am able to deal with many people. By that I mean, I'm not gonna hide or run if someone approaches me. I still need more of that. I need more confidence so I will make a good impression to people. I dislike it when someone thinks I'm not reliable and underestimate me. I always want to do my best when I do something! I want to prove to people that I can do anything without any fear! Do they sell confidence in a jar at a shop? I'd love to buy it! 

6. Get Organised, Be Responsible And Procrastinate Less

I have so many things to do but I keep procrastinating. I abandoned my task-to-do and mess up my own schedule. I keep a journal, I keep a to-do list yet I break my own words. Korean dramas or oppa Junki are not to be blamed cause I'm the one that supposed to be responsible for myself. I have to manage my time properly and get things done. If I were to live this way, I won't get anywhere. I will be in the same place and won't be able to reach my goals. I planned to go for hiking but until now, none of that is happening. I skip my online classes for weeks due to laziness. I don't know what has gotten into me but I need my spirit back and resume everything that has been cast away.

7. Work Hard Towards My Goals And Wishes

I believe everyone has their own goals and wishes. I'm still trying to figure out my passion; something that I will be happy doing and get paid for that. There's actually something I want to do and I will try my best to chase it. But read again the number 6, I procrastinate lots and it leads me to nothing. I get envy seeing people who work hard to build their career while I do nothing but keep watching KDramas and loitering around Google Park. I need a hard slap on my face so that I will wake up and realise that I still haven't achieved anything!! 

To wrap up this post, it takes time for me to realise and figure out that I have lots to be fixed in my life and myself. I would say that all that I listed above is things that hold me from being able to success. No one to be blamed except myself and I'm the one who should make the change of myself. 

What about you? Have you ever figured out about things to change about yourself? If yes, what would it be? 

I hope you enjoy reading. Toddles!

5 comments

  1. It's okay Eeca. Take your time towards the maturity and you'll find that you are close enough to achieve what you want in your life.

    If yes, what would it be? - I want to be more grateful for what I already have and patience in pursuing my goals. ^_^

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  2. InsyaAllah. Betul jgk yg bab complain tu. Tp tu la, mlut slalu ringan je complain. Dlm smayang baru reti nk mntk ampun dgn Allah sbb cmplain td --'

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  3. a really nice post and reminder :)

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  4. Insyallah. Moga sama-sama boleh berubah. Siqah biasa bab complain tu. Nak ajar diri jangan suka complain but still do the same. A good reminder dear :)

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