Of Things I Want To Do

of things i want to do

Believe it or not, I start off my new year with tears. I've been crying many times for the past two months for some unknown reasons and for some certain things that stressed me out. Yes, it's 2017 and I'm still fragile and weak as fuck. I keep telling myself that I am a strong woman yet it's a complete contradiction to me. Well, let's just hoping I won't be crying anymore starting this month. (I've been drafting this entry last week and I did shedding tears 4 to 5 times already this month lol).

Thinking of how miserable and lame my life is, I realise that I need a change. A change on everything. I want to live my life well without having nothing to worry even though I know there are endless surprises for me in future. I want to cry less and focus more on what I want to do in my life. So, I try to figure out few things I want to accomplish in the mean time. It may sound random and a rough plan. But hey, it's better than nothing! Here is how the list goes...

Getting A New Job

I used to work in the office and quit and now working with my parents. It's been almost a year plus already and I admit that I never take work seriously. I try to find myself in it but it just something I don't want to do; I mean not for a career. I will still help them for sure and take it as a part time work somehow. And for the full time work, I know it's gonna be hard to find a new job but it's okay cause I will try my best and I don't mind starting from the bottom again. I will take it as a life challenge and a time to be in struggling phase.

Saving More Money

This is the tough one. I thought not buying anything and save money is easy but I was completely wrong about it. It's easier said than done, guys!! It went all good last year as I could save half of my monthly salary into my bank account. To be exact, until I could afford my own gold ring (SEE IT HERE). But then uhh, I spent a lot for the past months for skincare products (SEE IT HERE), entertainment, foods, glasses, camera and yada yada yada. I'm totally broke uhuks. I really need to control my expenses starting from now. Cut... Cut all the crap!! And by that, it includes the shut down of my travel plan. Pheww...

Getting Fit and Live a Healthy Life

I finally found my gym's friend yeay! She asked me to join her for a fitness program and I simply agreed to it. I will probably start it next week and hopefully, I will get into shape. It's time to say goodbye to the extra fats in my body! And yeah, it's not merely about getting skinny but I want to improve my strength and stamina as well so I will be able to go hiking and do outdoor activities more. :D And I can't wait to start eating healthy again! I love foods but I have to do this sobs. It's not a farewell to the extra fats alone but also a farewell to the damn good foods lol.

Read More Books

I always wanted to be an avid reader. But I am somehow a very slow reader lol. I stop buying books knowing that I still have more of them - unread and untouched! I am currently reading The Reluctant Heiress by Eva Ibbotson now. I start reading the novel last week and I still haven't reached the 100th page. Slow macam kura-kura! I am trying to finish reading at least 3 books for this #MarchBookChallenge. Jiayou!

Stay Strong And Invincible

This is about the spiritual. Not everyone knows about depression and anxiety and I have been living my life this way for too long. It's not easy to have both at the same time as it is likely a living hell. Depression makes you to not care at all while anxiety is all about caring too much. It leads to numbness and sadness and it takes you down to the ground. I have always lost in this battle within myself. Always. I don't know how to be strong. Sometimes I don't even know how to be okay. I realise that no one could understand me when it comes to this and that makes me think I have to be stronger than the sickness itself. It all depends on myself, right?

Be More Optimist And Positive

I tend to think negative when it comes to most of the thing. I let myself down and saying I can't do this and I can't do that. Not until I realise it really affects me. I bring the bad vibes to myself and ruin my own self-esteem which leads to the development of negative attitude. If I could be a pessimist all the time, why can't I be an optimist and take all the positive vibes with me instead? It's something I need to change, right?

Keeping A Journal

I lost interest in this one. I used to be so happy when it comes to journaling but not now. I feel so lazy to even open up my notebook. But I guess I have to start over and keep track on everything; my migraine, my period days, my expenses, my life events etc. It's actually important for me to have this but I always save it in my brain and forget it the next day. Take your pen and your notebook now, caa!

- - -

So these are kind of things I want to do for now. I can't think of others anymore hahaha. Maybe this is somewhat a crucial task for myself. I need to start doing it for sure. And if you happened to be a reader of my blog, I actually have posted 7 Things I Want To Change About Myself before. There are few points I have repeated writing here which is obvious and strong evidence that I still haven't changed since then. Changing is hard, ain't it? Let's just hope I will make this happen. MESTI! Till here then x


  1. We are sama. Early new year, i got nothing happen. Wondering what happen to my life. But, now i try to keep doing of what ur journey future. Hopefully u can do all the list. Make it happen~ u can do it:)

  2. May Allah swt bless u always in 2017. And u get all the things which ia u really need it.

  3. Moga dapat capai semua nanti awak insyaALLAH ;)

  4. wow semua sama except the first one because i still have to study! haha high five and all the best xD

  5. Hopefully simplified everything

  6. Yeayy! You are stronger now and less cry. Good for you Eeca :)

    Siqah pun sekarang baca buku slow macam kura-kura! Malasnya rasa. baru buka buku, feeling nak baca, baca satu pages je lepas tu stop. harap tak lah berterusan begitu :(

    Saving money! I failed each month! OMG! this month rasanya menjadi. Tak banyak beli barang sangat. Hihi. But still, same like you, I need to shut down my travel also :(

    Good luck Eeca in everything you plan! Chiayok Girl! :)

  7. Good luck on that! To change is not difficult but to keep it consistent is the real challenge. It's okay to cry if that makes you feel good. I hope everything would be okay for you.

  8. All the best!!!! I pray you the most for "saving more money" hehehehehe